I can’t, I mean I just . . . can’t

I can’t do it.  I’m not capable.  I don’t have it in me.  I’m sorry, I just can’t.  I’m not going to pretend anymore that I can, cause I can’t.

I am talking about me not being able.  I’m not able to write this blog.  I’m not able to be patient in traffic.  I’m not able to be self-controlled (and a million other “not ables”).  

This is not like me at all – humbling confessing OUT LOUD that I’m not able.  I don’t want to be vulnerable here and let another take control but I’m sorry, I JUST CAN’T DO IT!

I LOVE to be in charge and I LOVE “doing”.  I also hate to be vulnerable.  Doesn’t that mean “weak”?   Opposite of strong – nope, that’s not good – nothing good can happen when I’m vulnerable, can it?  I can’t give up, I just can’t.  But I’m finding I HAVE TO.  It’s the only way.

And the older I get, the more vulnerable I have become, the easier it gets to admit things like this out loud or in other words, give up.  Give what up?  Me, my way, my control, my heart.  My knowledge, my self – me.

Because you know what?  I know SomeOne who is able.  I worship the God of Gods and the King of Kings.  He is SO able to do MUCH more than ANYTHING I can imagine!  YEP - I’m finally realizing exactly WHO God is to me – the more capable HE is, the more loving HE is, the more powerful, etc.  Why is that, I wonder?   I think its cause I know Him better.  And that happens through Scripture. 

Scripture is FULL of the “able”ness of God.  One of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible is Romans 8.  Ponder this one:

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.  But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness.  And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

Therefore, brothers (and sisters), we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it.  For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live,  because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by Him we cry, “Abba Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.

Ok, so through Him, I have wisdom.  Through Him, I have power.  The power to do.  The same power that was used to raise Christ from the dead.  And I will not fear, I will not be a slave.  I am a son/daughter, a child of God.  An heir.  I am able.   I can and I will – through Him.

AND SO DO YOU!

Then, of course, there's Peter's second letter (I know this is a lot of Scripture, but stay with me here cause the power isn’t in this blog, its in THE WORD) :

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(II Peter 1)

I don’t know about you, but being “ineffective and unproductive” sounds A LOT WORSE than being vulnerable – what do you think?

May our hearts see . . . .  we CAN and ARE ABLE through Christ!