May My Heart See...

Have you ever had one of those moments where you are just overcome with all the LOVE you have in your life?   You just feel so FULL – so complete – so blessed.   And when you stop and think how undeserving we are – or at least I am – to be loved, to be forgiven, it’s unnerving really.   Unheard of . . . unwarranted.   I have done nothing to be loved this much.   Oh, I love as best as I can and let’s be honest, I don’t really feel loved by people all the time.   But I’m talking about God here – to be loved by God when my heart is so deceitful and doesn’t deserve ONE GOOD THING (Jeremiah 17).   Yet, God, Who is rich in mercy, thinks otherwise.   He takes our deceitful heart and gives us a new one – (Ezekiel 11:19:   I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh) - a complete new one, for one reason and one reason alone.   LOVE. To fully grasp this, it would take a lifetime, or maybe

My devo last week had a statement that absolutely screamed off the page.   This one made me stop, read it again, and realize it was written for me – one to ponder and think through - a teachable moment.   Ever have that before? The statement?   Sometimes, it's not that my reality is bad. It's that I created too much space for disappointment to grow by placing my expectations too high. Of course, it came at the “perfect” time – a bad day, a week of selfishness and inconsistency.   A time of “not quite good enoughs” and feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. The statement made me stop and ask myself – is my reality so bad?   Well, actually, wait a minute – first, what is my reality?   My reality?   Wife – mother – grandmother – legal secretary – woman in her 50’s – lover of Jesus (and unfortunately many other “things” for that matter).   What about that reality is “bad” or dissatisfying for that matter? WELLLLLLLLL – if you’re a wife, you know.   If yo

Have you ever been scared?   I have.   I’ve been scared of the ocean ever since I watched the movie, “Jaws”.   I can’t even watch “scary” movies anymore because I take what happens to heart and then have nightmares.   But that kind of “scared” isn’t what I’m talking about - I’m talking about another kind of “scared”.   The unknown can be scary, don’t you think?   Not knowing what will happen with our health, job, or family or even the economy?   Then there’s the national debt??? – NOW THAT’S SCARY!   My heart is racing just thinking about it.   Seriously, is there really anything to be scared about?   Yes, there are times when fear (a healthy fear, that is) is warranted and given the way America is heading, I am fearful.   Truly.    But my focus cannot be on that – on governments and plans and whether or not there will be Social Security.   I can’t even focus on the moral decisions of the leaders of this country, either, for if I do, I buckle.   No, my focus has to be on

I don’t know if you have missed me, but I have missed you!   Having two trips back to back on weekends took me away from this blog and put me in an unusual funk.   This morning, in prayer, I asked the Lord if I was to ever write my blog again – I felt Him telling me if I would just sit still long enough it might happen! So here I am, sitting still.   Come, Lord Jesus, come. Thinking back, the “funk” started BEFORE my last trip to Kansas City for a reunion of my mom’s family.   This was an impromptu reunion – in my mother’s honor and also in honor of her mother, my grandmother, who turned 95 last June.   Some of us hadn’t seen each other since my mom’s funeral in 2006.   I’m not going to lie to you, I was apprehensive about going.   I have never felt confident in my mother’s family and since we had grown apart, less confident than ever.   My insecurities and fears held me captive to where I was afraid I would revert back to who I was – who I USED TO BE – and NOT be who I