Skip to main content

Me Addiction



I’m a recovering addict.  There I said it.  I’ve had this addiction for years.  I’m not proud of it.  In fact, I’m ashamed.  But its time it came out.

 
Hello, my name is Debi, and I’m narcissistic.

 
My addiction:  me. 
 
 
 
For you see, a me addition is all about me.   My way.  My turn.  My happiness.  My self.  Me.  I have had this “addiction” a long, long time - since I was born, in fact.

                  Psalm 51:5 says:  Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from
                          the time my mother conceived me.

A me addiction is sin.  Plain and simple.  It’s totally against God’s will.  I’m trying to think of one scripture that supports it . . .  (thinking, thinking . . . . ).  Nope, can’t.

               Philippians 2 says:  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
                      conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
                      not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests
                      of others.  In your relationships with one another, have the same
               mindset as Christ Jesus:

               Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with
                     God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He
                     made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
                     being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance
                     as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death-
              even death on a cross.

 

Valuing others above myself is NOT how a me addiction works btw and a me addiction is NOT having the mindset of Christ.  Not at all.  Its empty and it’s lonely and I hate it. 

Hating it was the start of my recovery.  Not hating “me” but hating the sin.  Hating the addiction and knowing there was better.  Maybe not how I thought it should be – but how God thought.  Knowing His love like no other.  Knowing He knows and still loves me.  It’s humbling, to say the least.  Another thing that helped was starting my mornings with a "Good morning, Jesus - today is all about You and not me.  PLEASE MAKE IT SO!"  Simple, but effective. You know what I mean?

Let me make this clear, I still take care of myself.  I shower and get my hair cut. :) I joined a gym.  You know things like that.  Its the motive, though.  It's why and its who's first.  I’ll be honest, I have my “pity parties” now and again.  But thankfully they are getting shorter and more seldom.  Its just too wonderful to do it God’s way.  Live in His grace, His mercy.  

Because it all is His, you know.  1 Cor 4 says in the Message:

For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God?

Embracing the love of God is the best thing you can do.  There’s no “me” there.  Just Him. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ctrl-Z

Happy New Year!   It’s a new year, a new beginning – the old is gone, the new has come!   YIPEE!   Not that 2012 was so awful – but it’s good to start afresh, don’t you think?   Get rid of some old “bad” habits, put on some new “good” ones.   My husband and I have promised each other we are not going to be “crabby” with each other anymore.   I am horrible!   We will try and talk nicely to each other - that alone will be a miraculous feat!! Sometimes, I just want to take back immediately what I just said – ever want to do that?   At my office, my new cubby partner taught me a wonderful keystroke last year that I told her has “spiritual” meaning.   Seriously! ctrl-Z.   Ever use it?   It un-do’s.   Yep – whatever you type wrong or don’t mean to do – it undoes it.   Ingenuous!   I use it all the time now.    (I know – I’m slow!) What on earth could be the spiritual meaning of ctrl-Z?   Hmmm...
3 comments
Read more

May my heart see . . . a blog? What?

My sister suggested years ago for me to start a blog.   “A what?”, I said.   Well, thank you, Cindy, for your suggestion – I think I’m gonna love this !   And I hope you do too.   I want to share what my heart has “seen” and is learning through God’s Word and I want to hear from you too.   The first time I EVER went to Bible study was when my “baby” was in an infant seat.   I remember it vividly.   (He’s 25 now BTW)    My step-mom invited me; she was the leader.   I don’t know if I would have went to a study where I didn’t know A SOUL – maybe.   Anyway, I have been going to a weekly study since then regularly and LOVE IT, absolutely love it! When scripture says “ open the eyes of my heart, Lord” – what do you think that means?   Hearts don’t have eyes, I mean literally they don’t.   My step-mom used to say, “I know it in here (pointing to her brain) but I now know it in HERE (pointing to her heart).   There’s a differ...
5 comments
Read more

Victory - a habit.

My heart is heavy today – full of despair.   A beautiful woman, I love and thank God for, with an abuse problem, is in ICU.     While high on heroin, she drove her car into a parked semi. What???????????!!!!   Let’s just sit on that for a while.   My despair is NOTHING compared to her despair – her children’s despair.   Her parents’ despair.   This abuse problem has been around for years.   That’s who she is . . . “an addict” (her words). Really?   I have never been addicted to drugs so I don’t understand this addiction, but I have known other “addictions” – I have felt helpless – I have labeled myself  “defeated”.   Hopeless.   I am so sick and tired of Satan and his destruction.   I have had it.     Why do we give him so much power?   He delights in this . . . . this darkness.   No more. I claim in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ – LEAVE THIS WOMAN ALONE! I found a great quo...
3 comments
Read more