Me Addiction

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I’m a recovering addict.  There I said it.  I’ve had this addiction for years.  I’m not proud of it.  In fact, I’m ashamed.  But its time it came out.

 
Hello, my name is Debi, and I’m narcissistic.

 
My addiction:  me. 
 
 
 
For you see, a me addition is all about me.   My way.  My turn.  My happiness.  My self.  Me.  I have had this “addiction” a long, long time - since I was born, in fact.

                  Psalm 51:5 says:  Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from
                          the time my mother conceived me.

A me addiction is sin.  Plain and simple.  It’s totally against God’s will.  I’m trying to think of one scripture that supports it . . .  (thinking, thinking . . . . ).  Nope, can’t.

               Philippians 2 says:  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
                      conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
                      not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests
                      of others.  In your relationships with one another, have the same
               mindset as Christ Jesus:

               Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with
                     God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He
                     made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
                     being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance
                     as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death-
              even death on a cross.

 

Valuing others above myself is NOT how a me addiction works btw and a me addiction is NOT having the mindset of Christ.  Not at all.  Its empty and it’s lonely and I hate it. 

Hating it was the start of my recovery.  Not hating “me” but hating the sin.  Hating the addiction and knowing there was better.  Maybe not how I thought it should be – but how God thought.  Knowing His love like no other.  Knowing He knows and still loves me.  It’s humbling, to say the least.  Another thing that helped was starting my mornings with a "Good morning, Jesus - today is all about You and not me.  PLEASE MAKE IT SO!"  Simple, but effective. You know what I mean?

Let me make this clear, I still take care of myself.  I shower and get my hair cut. :) I joined a gym.  You know things like that.  Its the motive, though.  It's why and its who's first.  I’ll be honest, I have my “pity parties” now and again.  But thankfully they are getting shorter and more seldom.  Its just too wonderful to do it God’s way.  Live in His grace, His mercy.  

Because it all is His, you know.  1 Cor 4 says in the Message:

For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God?

Embracing the love of God is the best thing you can do.  There’s no “me” there.  Just Him. 

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