Skip to main content

Lessons learned = wisdom (hopefully!)


Proverbs 14:1 says that “the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

Unfortunately, there are many times, and many years, that I have not been very wise.  I wish I could tell you that my “house” was blessed by my presence, grew in wisdom and flourished under my care.  But I can’t.  No, in the 55+ years of my life, I would say this lady was quite foolish.

How? – you ask – or, better yet, why?   Well, mainly cause - that’s all I knew. 

Oh, I am not going to blame my stupidity on my parents or my childhood.  No, it’s my fault.  But like I said, it’s all I knew.   I learned at an early age how to “tear down” – be selfish, manipulative and controlling.  I never pursued wisdom in the “old days” – that was boring.  Instead, I just wanted it my way or I looked at others, and wanted what they had.

For example, I always wanted a mom like my friends’ moms.  One, who was married to my dad, wore dresses and smiled a lot.  She would be waiting for me when I came home from school with a glass of milk and homemade cookies. 

For the record, I never had that.  After divorcing my father when I was 5, my mom did the best she could, working two or more jobs at one time, and although she smiled a lot, I don’t remember her ever waiting for me to come home from school.  Did that mean she wasn’t a great mom and didn’t love me?  Nope.  It just meant she wasn’t who I wanted her to be.

AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!  I would not be who I am today without my mom being who she was.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t “wise” enough to figure that out until much later in life. 

So, what part of “being wise” did I learn from this?  Learning lessons from past mistakes is the beginning of wisdom, don’t you think?  Here’s what I know (it ain’t much, but it’s all I got): 
  • When you feel abandoned and unloved, you react in one of two ways – you will either try to control or you will step back in fear.  Controlling was my option.  It was very natural for me to take over. 
  • I am not in control, however.  God is.   Its not like I gave Him the control, it’s like I realized He was in control.  Make sense?  THAT was the beginning of wisdom for me.
  • When I got my thoughts off myself and looked to others, I started caring for them as I never had before.  I began loving for real, instead of for show.  Real love builds houses and makes homes.  It cements relationships and strengthens families.  Wisdom taught me that – how to love my family.  How to accept my mother – exactly how God made her.
  • Wisdom came when I learned WHO He is and what He can do.  I became aware of grace, the grace given to me and the grace I could give.
  • Then I learned who I was in the scheme of things – His Child – loved, redeemed, accepted, adopted into His kingdom.  H.U.G.E. revelation for me!  
  • Oh, and one more thing - hang out with the "wise" - wisdom is contagious! 



To this day, I still pursue wisdom but really don’t consider myself “wise”.  I just know that wisdom is something God wants us to have and all we need to do is pursue it. 

Proverbs 8 says, starting at verse 12

I am Wisdom.
    I live with good judgment.
    I am at home with knowledge and planning.
To respect the Lord means to hate evil.
    I hate pride and boasting, evil living and hurtful words.
I have good advice and common sense to offer.
    I have understanding and power.

And then verse 17 says:

I love those who love me,
    and those who look for me will find me. 
 
  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It all started before that.

As she talked, I sat there amazed.   Not at what she was saying, but at who she had become.   Confident.   Godly.   Faithful.    Respected.   It just hit me that she is now a leader in our church.    A true leader.   The next generation of leaders, in fact. But wait -- is this the same young woman who God brought into our lives a little over 10 years ago?   The anxious, nervous, only-just-started-going-to- church- wanting-to-please-everyone young woman my son introduced us to?   Watching her confidently taking her seat, I started thinking of those first days . . .   and seriously, my breath caught in my throat.   How amazing God is!   He molds, He holds.   He shapes and He grows.   And He does this over and over – and it still amazes me.   That got me to thinking.   God’s amazing work in my life didn’t start with my daughter-in-love.   It started before that.   It starte...
1 comment
Read more

I prayed for toilet paper.

    I left for a LONG walk by myself recently while vacationing at my sister's place.   Armed with a bottle of water, it was a perfect morning to get away.  The sun was shining and the birds were singing - what could be better??   Having walked this path before, I didn't have a worry in the world. Praying, humming and taking in as much of God's creation as I could, all was good.   Well, until . .   My bladder was full and no bathroom was in sight.   I figured I was still about two miles away from the nearest bathroom.   What to do?   Two miles is a LONG WAY when you gotta go.   Some of you know EXACTLY what I mean.   Or maybe you don't have problems like this and if you did, you at least wouldn't tell anybody about it.   But the older I get, the more of a problem it is.   And the older I get, I know that EVERY event in life has a lesson.   Yes, even one like this   So I did what an...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Joyces of My Life

Have you ever had someone in your life who truly showed joy, no matter the circumstance?  How about someone who has made a profound influence?  I can honestly say that I have had two, and they both have the name "Joyce" - hence, the title of this post - The Joyces of My Life. First of all, Joyce ( my stepmom) came into my life when she married my dad.  My life was pretty unstable with my mother, but we all made the best of it.  Once I graduated from high school, I moved in with Dad and Joyce. Life happened, I got married, had some kids, you know the drill.   When I think back, there's nothing specific I remember, except  her constant-ability.  She was always there for me.  Period.  When you meet someone who lets you into their heart, bears her own heart and soul, while introducing you to Jesus, your life changes.  At least mine did.  Her love for Jesus and scripture was evident and contagious.  I wanted in - all...
Post a Comment
Read more