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Confession - its good for the soul!

This morning, in my prayer time, I found praising God hard.  Ever have that happen to you?  When I pray, I use the acronym ACTS for my prayer time: 

Adore/Confess/Thanksgiving and Supplication.  A-C-T-S

So I start with adoring and end with bringing my requests before my King.    But this morning, because I had an “attitude” about something, (in other words I was being obstinate and didn’t want to admit it!) – I found starting with adoration wasn’t where I should be.  I needed to confess and I needed to do it ASAP.  So, even though I didn’t want to, or like it, I delved in and confessed.  I admitted.  It didn’t come natural, believe me.  There was a lot of “delving” involved!

But why is that so hard?  Why is confessing small sins (can the word, “small” EVER be before the word, “sin”????) so difficult? 

Adoration, now THAT’S easy:  adoring WHO He is and praising Him for it – contemplating His creation, His Being, His Name, His Love, His works . . . are you getting my drift here?

So you would think that after adoring and praising, I should be in a perfect mood to confess -  nope.  When I first started taking praying seriously (and by that I mean, on my knees, in my own little “place”, can’t live without it), I would confess just my “pat” sins, you know, “ I’m a jealous person . . .  I have hatred in my heart . . .  (the sins I knew I did but didn’t really want to think about).  I rushed through this because I wanted to get to the supplication part – that was my favorite.

Then, conviction set in – that wonderful “C” word that grips the soul and enlightens, showing me I’m NOT perfect – I’m a sinner, through and through.  My heart?  Sinful.  My motives?  Not pure.   The “pat” sins I confessed previously?  Completely drowned in the TRUE sins I commit and confess AND THEY ARE NEVER SMALL BTW!  The ones I don’t want anyone else to EVER guess, the ones I can hardly say out loud, the ones I can hardly believe I even “thought” of. 

For we sin in thought, word and deed.  When we just think it or say it or do it.  We don’t have to do all three – just thinking “it” will get us in trouble!

I think its hard for me to confess because its not natural and I’m so deceived.  The world tells me, “doesn’t everyone do that?”  or “that’s not so bad, at least you didn’t murder her!”. When I ask the Lord, “create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me”, (Psalm 51), I’m requesting He come in and show me my sin, help me see who I really am and help me to confess so that my heart will not be deceived anymore and I stop rationalizing. 

And right after I confess, I say out loud, “I AM FORGIVEN”.  I need to hear that.   I need to know that they are ALL BEHIND, ALL AWAY, ALL WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, ALL FORGIVEN. 

Romans 8:1:  There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

And Isaiah 1: 18 & 19:  Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD.  Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  

No condemnation – none.  Sweet sister, hear me in this – NO CONDEMNATION.  HE has no memory of them – NONE – that’s why I say, “I’m forgiven” out loud cause I need to hear it.  It is ABSOLUTELY essential for me (and you!) to know this.  Know this in our hearts. 

May my heart see . . .  once we confess, we are forgiven . . . truly!

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