May My Heart See...

Merry Christmas!   I hope you had a wonderful blessed holiday - blessed with some “alone” time.   Now I know I blogged about it not being all about me previously, but by “alone” time I mean alone with just you and your Savior.   To me, that is the “blessed” part of the holiday.   Don’t get me wrong, I love being with my kids and the grandchildren and giving the gifts and all that - that is certainly a wonderful part of the celebration but the most blessed part of Christmas is my time and my worship of my Savior.   Prophets for centuries talked about a savior that was coming to save the world.   These prophecies were passed on for centuries.   The Jewish people were the chosen race and when the angel told Mary she was to be with child, right from the “get go” she took ownership of this miracle, proclaiming: My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been mindful of the humble state of His servant. ...

Long ago, the very first Christmas, no one expected the Savior of the world to come as a baby.   Prophets like Isaiah, Jeremiah and Hosea foretold a King was coming – the Messiah.   But a King come as a baby?   Seriously?   Angels announced His birth in the heavenly glories.   Shepherds came to worship.   The angel had told them that Christ, the Lord, was born and they would find Him wrapped in cloths in a manger.      They found a baby wrapped in an old blanket and born in a manger.   They spread the word concerning what they had been told about this baby and all were amazed at what the shepherds said.   But a baby who would be the Savior of the world?    I wonder if that is what they expected.   I doubt it.   That got me to thinking – what do I expect from Jesus?   What are my   expectations?   I will call my Jesus expectations:   Xpectations, k?      Xpectatio...

My husband’s call woke me up this morning.   He says there is no way I will get out until the plow comes.   So I sleep in a little and get up about an hour later. After saying Good Morning! to Jesus, I ask Him to help me deny myself.   Then I go about getting my breakfast and reading my devotion.    I do my laundry and start planning my day.   Stranded, as the snow plow hasn’t come by yet, I think of all the things needed to be done around here if I can’t get into the office.   Something, some small thought in the back of my heart, starts me singing this song.   I have been humming Christmas carols for weeks now, it surprised me that this came to me.   Have you heard it?   Here are the lyrics:   It's all about You, Jesus And all this is for You For Your glory and your fame It's not about me As if You should do things my way You alone are God And I surrender to your ways Jesus, lover of my soul All consuming fir...

My heart is heavy today – full of despair.   A beautiful woman, I love and thank God for, with an abuse problem, is in ICU.     While high on heroin, she drove her car into a parked semi. What???????????!!!!   Let’s just sit on that for a while.   My despair is NOTHING compared to her despair – her children’s despair.   Her parents’ despair.   This abuse problem has been around for years.   That’s who she is . . . “an addict” (her words). Really?   I have never been addicted to drugs so I don’t understand this addiction, but I have known other “addictions” – I have felt helpless – I have labeled myself  “defeated”.   Hopeless.   I am so sick and tired of Satan and his destruction.   I have had it.     Why do we give him so much power?   He delights in this . . . . this darkness.   No more. I claim in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ – LEAVE THIS WOMAN ALONE! I found a great quo...

Have you ever had one of those moments where you are just overcome with all the LOVE you have in your life?   You just feel so FULL – so complete – so blessed.   And when you stop and think how undeserving we are – or at least I am – to be loved, to be forgiven, it’s unnerving really.   Unheard of . . . unwarranted.   I have done nothing to be loved this much.   Oh, I love as best as I can and let’s be honest, I don’t really feel loved by people all the time.   But I’m talking about God here – to be loved by God when my heart is so deceitful and doesn’t deserve ONE GOOD THING (Jeremiah 17).   Yet, God, Who is rich in mercy, thinks otherwise.   He takes our deceitful heart and gives us a new one – (Ezekiel 11:19:   I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh) - a complete new one, for one reason and one reason alone.   LOVE. To ful...

My devo last week had a statement that absolutely screamed off the page.   This one made me stop, read it again, and realize it was written for me – one to ponder and think through - a teachable moment.   Ever have that before? The statement?   Sometimes, it's not that my reality is bad. It's that I created too much space for disappointment to grow by placing my expectations too high. Of course, it came at the “perfect” time – a bad day, a week of selfishness and inconsistency.   A time of “not quite good enoughs” and feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. The statement made me stop and ask myself – is my reality so bad?   Well, actually, wait a minute – first, what is my reality?   My reality?   Wife – mother – grandmother – legal secretary – woman in her 50’s – lover of Jesus (and unfortunately many other “things” for that matter).   What about that reality is “bad” or dissatisfying for that matter? WELLLLLLLLL – if y...

Have you ever been scared?   I have.   I’ve been scared of the ocean ever since I watched the movie, “Jaws”.   I can’t even watch “scary” movies anymore because I take what happens to heart and then have nightmares.   But that kind of “scared” isn’t what I’m talking about - I’m talking about another kind of “scared”.   The unknown can be scary, don’t you think?   Not knowing what will happen with our health, job, or family or even the economy?   Then there’s the national debt??? – NOW THAT’S SCARY!   My heart is racing just thinking about it.   Seriously, is there really anything to be scared about?   Yes, there are times when fear (a healthy fear, that is) is warranted and given the way America is heading, I am fearful.   Truly.    But my focus cannot be on that – on governments and plans and whether or not there will be Social Security.   I can’t even focus on the moral decisions of the leaders of thi...

I don’t know if you have missed me, but I have missed you!   Having two trips back to back on weekends took me away from this blog and put me in an unusual funk.   This morning, in prayer, I asked the Lord if I was to ever write my blog again – I felt Him telling me if I would just sit still long enough it might happen! So here I am, sitting still.   Come, Lord Jesus, come. Thinking back, the “funk” started BEFORE my last trip to Kansas City for a reunion of my mom’s family.   This was an impromptu reunion – in my mother’s honor and also in honor of her mother, my grandmother, who turned 95 last June.   Some of us hadn’t seen each other since my mom’s funeral in 2006.   I’m not going to lie to you, I was apprehensive about going.   I have never felt confident in my mother’s family and since we had grown apart, less confident than ever.   My insecurities and fears held me captive to where I was afraid I would revert back to who I wa...

Does your brain ever get overloaded?   Like full of so much you can’t shut it off?   I was thinking about what I should post next and different scriptures filled my mind.   Then I started thinking about worship and my last time in Bible study.   Then what about what my boss and I prayed about in his office last week . . . . back and forth – this or that – no, how about . . . but then’s there’s . . . . . Suddenly, a yearning for quiet came over me.   I tried to stop thinking.   Tried is the operative word here.    Finally, out of sheer frustration, I yelled,   QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Silence.   OHHHHHHHH, I needed that! In this busy world of noise, have you ever tried to stop, take a breath and quiet your mind?   Try it now, why don’t you?     Close your eyes.   Still your heart.   Revel in hearing “nothing” for a while.     Listen, O heavens, and I will speak; ...

Whether you know me personally or only know me through this blog, I think by now you know that I love music and most specially, Christian music.   This morning in worship, I had a wonderful experience that I would like to share.   We sang the song, Potter’s Hand .   Do you know that song?   I have linked a YouTube video at the end of this post in case you would like to hear it. The lyrics are from Isaiah 64:8, which says: Yet, O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand. This morning, while I was song-leading, my friend, Leah, was in the back of the sanctuary offering the song up to her Lord with her hands and heart.   Oh, I couldn’t hear her voice, I just saw her.     While I sang words like, “take me, mold me, use me, fill me – I give my life to the Potter’s hand”, Leah was singing those words to her Potter, with eyes closed, hands lifted and heart surrendered. Leah, is a you...

Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t know about you but celebrating birthdays always makes me reminisce about the past.   Birthdays remind me of the differences (and similarities) of who I am now and who I used to be.    I don’t know how many of you know who I used to be – here’s my take on it.   My parents divorced before I was five years old.   I lived with aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends’ parents, my mom, my dad, my dad and his new wife and my mom and her new husband.   Needless to say, I moved around a lot!   I was confirmed in the local church but my mother didn’t attend.   My sisters and I went to church alone, or we pretended we went and walked over to the bakery and had donuts instead.    I really loved going to church but didn’t really feel welcome there and truly didn’t understand it all.   I listened though and still remember parts of the liturgy and music.   I had a yearning for it, if you know what...

Yes, math.   That is what I’m writing about today.    Wait – let me finish.   My BFF Sandra is taking math classes and she hates math.   I found a problem that I think she will like – Jesus + Nothing = Everything Or as with all math problems –   Everything - Jesus = Nothing   I can’t take credit for this – It’s the title of a great book my boss gave me by Tullian Tchividjian. T he gospel in a nut shell, truly.   If you add anything to Jesus, like good works, or your own righteousness – is it the gospel?  Truly grace?   Really? Jesus did it all – He paid it all, the whole price.   Period. Galatians 2:   I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.  I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Chris...