May My Heart See...

All alone, just me and You.   I thought to myself, “this is perfect”.   I need this.   I need this time alone with You.  You are all I want.  All I need.   So I laid back on the hammock and looked up.   Clouds, sky, sun, trees. Your creation was still.   I thought about Who You were and where I’d been.   Your goodness and my sin.   It felt like it was just You and me, nothing else.    I was humbled.   That the God of the universe knew my name. Chief of sinners – yet I was forgiven.   I truly did not understand. I realized I would never really ever understand.   So I sang praises to Your Name and laid my heart out for You to take.   I gave You my will, my strength and my being.   All I was – was Yours.   It felt . . . free. Safe.   Loved.   I savored Who You are and just sat there in Your Presence.   There is None like You.   No one.   You ar...

Imparting Grace: Grace at Home No. 68

I’m a “git er done” kind of person, are you?   I mean, when things need to be done, I do them.   I don’t think about doing them, I don’t wait to do them, I do them.   In fact, some times ( most times actually) I do things too fast and don’t think first, leaving a lot of my tasks, “sort of done” – but hey, they’re done, aren’t they??!! Unfortunately, my “git er done” attitude has taken me away from those I love.   In order to get it all done, I have to be “doing”.   And in “doing”, I don’t have time to sit and listen, to just be there for someone, or to “love them” where they are without trying to fix something.    If I can’t fix it, what good am I?   That’s my motto. Well, that used to be my motto, anyway.   My eyes tear up as I think of all I have missed.   All the times I could have been holding my baby or listening as they rambled when they came home from school.   All the wonderful memories – and me not having time for ...

Have you ever trembled in fear?   Maybe lots of things make you tremble.   I’m not a “trembler” by nature.   I’m a screamer and a crier, but trembling?   Not so much.   The first time I remember trembling was my wedding day.   Right before the wedding was to start, I just could not stop shaking.   My mom took me on her lap and comforted me – hoop skirt and all (me, not her J ).     The music started and I calmly walked down the aisle. The next time I remember trembling was years later – it was when my mom called me and said my step-dad had died and she needed me, NOW.   I got in our van and tried to drive to her as fast as I could, except I couldn’t hold the steering wheel because I couldn’t stop trembling.   In fact, I was shaking so much, the van was actually shaking!   NO LIE! I got on the highway and thought to myself, “How am I going to drive?   I can’t even hold the steering wheel?”    I was in a ...

I’m an “easy way out” kind of person, are you?  As you know, I don’t like conflict so I don’t ever “go there” if I don’t have to.  I would rather not deal with it – it will go away, just ignore it for a while.  L Unfortunately, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, a follower of His ways and His Truth, (which I consider myself), you can’t do that.  You can’t take the easy way out all the time.  Being a believer makes me go places I don’t want to go and deal with things I don’t want to deal with.   It helps me tell the truth when it’s easier to lie.  It shows me that the only way is the right way and the right way isn’t always the easiest way. Besides liking to take the easy way, I want everyone to be happy.  How in the heck can I do that!???!!  I mean, pleasing everyone is a full-time, grueling, pretty-much-impossible job!  Plus it’s not always God-honoring.  And it surely isn’t easy! To help me with this dile...

Did you miss me?   I am so sorry!   I have been in such a funk – no inspiration, no yearning to write.   Nothing.   And it’s not for any good reason, either.   Just . . . funk -ness.   I can’t explain it any other way. Have you ever been in a funk?   I mean, it seems like there is a film across my eyes, my brain is on overload and my heart isn’t feeling – do you know what I mean? And all around me all I see and hear is gossip, divorce, hatred, stupidity.     I just want to scream, Is anybody out there?   Maybe I’ll do jumping jacks – that will get me out of it.   Nope. Where is the hope?   Where is the truth?   I’m not seeing it.   I’m not feeling it.   Its gone. But that’s a lie – just because I can’t see it or feel it, doesn’t mean its not there.   Hope has nothing to do with me.   (and all God’s people say, THANK GOD!) When everything around you screams hopeLESSness – ...

I am attending a Bible study where we paraphrase scripture.   This doesn’t sound fun, does it?   Actually, I went into this with a little “kicking and screaming” but have ended up liking the whole idea.   Once the scripture is paraphrased, we dissect it – that part I happen to enjoy wholeheartedly!     (I know, I’m weird!) This last week one of the assignments was Psalm 23.   This psalm is a favorite of many.   But favorites don’t make for easy paraphrasing – just sayin.   The more I read and re-read this psalm, the more it “said”.   Do you know what I mean? Let’s look at it: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His Name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Yo...