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OUR ONLY HOPE

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I wish I could say that I'm a strong person and my faith was not shattered through the past two years of my son's illness . But that would be a lie . I have been in the pit of despair. I have screamed and wailed and shook my fist at the God of Abraham. And through it all He kept loving me, holding me, filling me, and showing me that my surrender would make me stronger and my weakness would enable me to get through. I was asked, what is your biggest fear about losing your son? My first thought was that  our family would never be the same and I am correct. But I also thought that there's no way we could go on without him. His wife, his children, all of us, how would we endure? But God has shown me over and over that we can get through this but we cannot do it alone.  And being weak and needy is an opportunity for God to show Himself and to love and heal together. God has been preparing me for this devastating event in my life as He has poked and molded and gave and took away ...
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Share My Heart, Show My God.

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 There have been so many changes in my life since I last wrote on this blog -  it's been almost 10 years now. The last two years have been horrendous for my family as my oldest son was diagnosed with stage 4 mesothelioma. I know that from the start of this diagnosis, God has been there, holding me, and speaking to my heart over and over. A lot of those times I didn't want to hear what He had to say because I was so angry and full of myself. But our God is so patient, and He is a peacegiver and through this whole thing, He is working mightily. I could not list all the ways God has blessed me and been with me through this journey with my son and his family. And my son, Dan? He finished so well. I am so proud of him and I miss him everyday. He was man of love and family and goofiness. And not in that order. 😉 (I think its  a hoot that this pic would not insert "correctly")  It took us a while to get pregnant with Dan afte...
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The unthinkable

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What's your "totally awful, most unthinkable thing"?  You know, the one thing that would be THE most awfulest thing in the whole world to happen.  Everyone has one, don't they?  I mean, I do.  Whether its relational or spiritual or physical - makes no difference - its the one "happening" in your life that would be the worst ever.  E-V-E-R. Its the kind of thing you don't want to tell anybody because you don't want to say it out loud, let along think about it.  But you do . . . I do anyway.  And especially now, for some DARK reason, with all that is happening around us, my mind goes there.  I don't want it to but it does. I think Peter's totally awful unthinkable was his denial of Christ - and his happened THREE times.  It must have just slayed him.  I wonder sometimes how could he have even gone on after that.  One word:  redemption. Where our unthinkable is, God's redemption is.  Our only hope - ...
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When Jesus is all I have, He really is all I need.

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When Jesus is all I have, He really is all I need.  Right?  I'm going to be honest here, actually brutally honest, and say that I wish that statement was true for me.  I mean, I want it to be true.  Does that count? I don't know about you but in my life I feel like I need more than Jesus.  I need air and water and comfort and people liking me.  I need things going my way and nice hair.  Wow, do you think I'm a little self-involved??   Pardon me while I puke. 😬 Thankfully, God in His wisdom slaps me upside the head - I'm talking figuratively, here - with His Word.  One of those teaching moments is from the Book of Habakkuk.  He was a prophet during a horrific time.  Actually, God was allowing the Babylonians to take over, that's how bad it was.  Habakkuk was disgruntled to say the least.  For over two chapters, he tells God exactly what is needed and what should be done.  And God answers him - NOPE - no...
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The Power Closet

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T his being National Day of Prayer and all, I was wondering if you have a power closet?   Somewhere just for you and God?   Its a place of devotion, surrender and confession.  It might be in your house or in the front seat of your car.   It really doesn't matter because a ll you have to do is “show up” and talk to God.   It’s getting there that’s the hard part.   First, we have to take the time. Second, admit something - a need, a want, a sin and third, listen.  Satan doesn’t want us in the power closet, you know.   He rather see us in the denial bin - in darkness, where there is no light.  But light is where healing begins.  In Christ there is no darkness at all.  Hence, the need for the power closet . . . .  talking to God brings it all to the light, don't you think?  Confession, repentance, strength, hope - the power that comes forth from God through hearts devoted to Him is amazing!!   The power clo...
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Obligation or desire?

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I had a question asked of me yesterday that quickened my heart and left me wondering.  I'm still wondering for that matter.  It actually makes me a little sick to my stomach to think that I even have to question myself and admit this out loud.  But here goes . . . . . do I worship God out of obligation or desire? We are studying 1 Kings on Wednesday mornings and King Solomon is the main character.  He's the son of David (known for being the man after God's own heart).  Solomon loved God and worshiped Him.  In fact, Solomon was allowed to build God's temple and became one of the wisest richest rulers of all time.  I Kings says,   5  Three  times a year Solomon sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings on the altar he had built for the  Lord , burning incense before the  Lord  along with them, and so fulfilled the temple obligations. I'm thinking to myself, WOW, this guy's doing it all rig...
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The Joyces of My Life

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Have you ever had someone in your life who truly showed joy, no matter the circumstance?  How about someone who has made a profound influence?  I can honestly say that I have had two, and they both have the name "Joyce" - hence, the title of this post - The Joyces of My Life. First of all, Joyce ( my stepmom) came into my life when she married my dad.  My life was pretty unstable with my mother, but we all made the best of it.  Once I graduated from high school, I moved in with Dad and Joyce. Life happened, I got married, had some kids, you know the drill.   When I think back, there's nothing specific I remember, except  her constant-ability.  She was always there for me.  Period.  When you meet someone who lets you into their heart, bears her own heart and soul, while introducing you to Jesus, your life changes.  At least mine did.  Her love for Jesus and scripture was evident and contagious.  I wanted in - all...
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