Four Months
I'm sitting in my Lanai where I journal and do my devotions in the morning and this was my journal entry. And God meets me right here. I'm not getting beyond this. "Beyond" is heaven, eternity, perfectness with My Savior. Four months ago (to the day) I lost my son. And I'm right in the middle of it. The reality of Dan's death. What does that mean? Who am I in that reality? A mother with her heart broken, a caretaker to a widow and four granddaughters, which God in His mercy knew I would need to be. Dan knew too. They knew I would need Nicole and their girls to put my energy into, to love and hold and help and be a part of. But I also feel so lonely, not because Dan took all my time previously, but lonely because I'm missing a piece of myself. A piece I'll only find in heaven. I've been trying to fill it here, but its not fillable. Oh my family helps, my friends, my faith. But the reality is it will never be the same. So I'll pray, journa...