For better or worse

Its my 35^th wedding anniversary this week - YEAH!!!!   To some people, that’s not a big deal, but to me, it’s a miracle!  A testament of God’s grace – a destiny I had only hoped would be mine someday. 

I don’t know if its because I am from a “broken” family – my parents divorced when I was five – or because there is so much divorce out there, but seriously, this is a HUGE DEAL to me.  So hang on as I go back to memory lane (or exit, whichever you prefer J).

I didn’t have a clue on how to “be” married or “stay” married.  My mother certainly hadn’t taught me and we didn’t have classes back then about “staying married” or even “getting married”.  The only class I could remember that maybe helped me out was my “American Problems” class – LOL!  All I knew was I wanted to get married.  Period.  Poor Timm.

Standing before God, at the altar, all those years ago, I vowed to “love and obey, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse”.   Timm said he would “plight thee my troth” (what the heck does that mean??!!).  We both said what we were supposed to say – what we were told to say.  Did we mean them? 

I want to think we did, but now looking back, I would say I didn’t have a clue.  And to be honest, I’m ashamed of myself.  This was a vow, a promise, before God, I was making.  Now, 35 years later, I totally understand the implications.

Because there have been times, too many unfortunately, that I have wanted to forget those vows, to run away, to leave it all, and just . . . . go.  Go where?  I don’t know – anywhere – just away.  Away from noise, away from heartache and conflict, away from . . .  worse.

Timm, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was promising.  Troth means truthfulness.  When he vowed to plight thee my troth, he pledged his truthfulness, faithfulness and loyalty to me and he has kept his end of the bargain.  Just typing that puts a smile on my face and reminds me of ANOTHER reason I love that man so!

I bet you think I’m contradicting myself – one paragraph talks about me leaving and the next about me loving him so – but that’s exactly what our marriage has been – better or worse – sticking it out, learning to love, seeking help, getting away (both from each other and with each other), talking it through, leaving it alone, sharing it all.  Yes, better or worse and MAN, is the BETTER wonderful!

On that wedding day, so long ago, I sang these words to my new husband.  They are from the Book of Ruth. Chapter One:

Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.  Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

As I read them, I remember singing them and MEANING them.  Little did I know that they would be the testament of God’s grace in our lives – that with Him, we would stay together. 

Angela Thomas says, “This world can make you want to run away, but the brave woman stays, living every day with integrity.” 

I don’t know about you, but I long to be the woman God has created me to be – a woman of integrity.  A woman who keeps her promises – better or worse.

The “world” can’t make me do anything anyway cause I got me a man who has plighted me some “troth”! You just can’t get “better” than that! J