Lessons learned = wisdom (hopefully!)

Proverbs 14:1 says that “the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

Unfortunately, there are many times, and many years, that I have not been very wise.  I wish I could tell you that my “house” was blessed by my presence, grew in wisdom and flourished under my care.  But I can’t.  No, in the 55+ years of my life, I would say this lady was quite foolish.

How? – you ask – or, better yet, why?   Well, mainly cause - that’s all I knew. 

Oh, I am not going to blame my stupidity on my parents or my childhood.  No, it’s my fault.  But like I said, it’s all I knew.   I learned at an early age how to “tear down” – be selfish, manipulative and controlling.  I never pursued wisdom in the “old days” – that was boring.  Instead, I just wanted it my way or I looked at others, and wanted what they had.

For example, I always wanted a mom like my friends’ moms.  One, who was married to my dad, wore dresses and smiled a lot.  She would be waiting for me when I came home from school with a glass of milk and homemade cookies. 

For the record, I never had that.  After divorcing my father when I was 5, my mom did the best she could, working two or more jobs at one time, and although she smiled a lot, I don’t remember her ever waiting for me to come home from school.  Did that mean she wasn’t a great mom and didn’t love me?  Nope.  It just meant she wasn’t who I wanted her to be.

AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!  I would not be who I am today without my mom being who she was.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t “wise” enough to figure that out until much later in life. 

So, what part of “being wise” did I learn from this?  Learning lessons from past mistakes is the beginning of wisdom, don’t you think?  Here’s what I know (it ain’t much, but it’s all I got): 

• When you feel abandoned and unloved, you react in one of two ways – you will either try to control or you will step back in fear.  Controlling was my option.  It was very natural for me to take over. 
• I am not in control, however.  God is.   Its not like I gave Him the control, it’s like I realized He was in control.  Make sense?  THAT was the beginning of wisdom for me.
• When I got my thoughts off myself and looked to others, I started caring for them as I never had before.  I began loving for real, instead of for show.  Real love builds houses and makes homes.  It cements relationships and strengthens families.  Wisdom taught me that – how to love my family.  How to accept my mother – exactly how God made her.
• Wisdom came when I learned WHO He is and what He can do.  I became aware of grace, the grace given to me and the grace I could give.
• Then I learned who I was in the scheme of things – His Child – loved, redeemed, accepted, adopted into His kingdom.  H.U.G.E. revelation for me!  
• Oh, and one more thing - hang out with the "wise" - wisdom is contagious! 

To this day, I still pursue wisdom but really don’t consider myself “wise”.  I just know that wisdom is something God wants us to have and all we need to do is pursue it. 

Proverbs 8 says, starting at verse 12

I am Wisdom.

    I live with good judgment.

    I am at home with knowledge and planning.

To respect the Lord means to hate evil.

    I hate pride and boasting, evil living and hurtful words.

I have good advice and common sense to offer.

    I have understanding and power.

And then verse 17 says:

I love those who love me,

    and those who look for me will find me.