May My Heart See...

Is it enough to just want to be happy?  I think it takes more than that.  Resolve is good, don't get me wrong, but the condition of the heart HAS to have something to do with it, along with the journeys life takes you on. I'm on a new journey.  I retired January 3rd of this year.  And its August and I'm still getting used to it.  Am I happy I'm retired?  Oh yes!  But am I happy? Maybe. I think its time I RESOLVED to open up my heart to all this journey is.  I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now.  Hang on, this might not be pretty. In the last eight months, I have realized a few things about myself that has made me feel truly UNhappy.  I could blame this on my mother.  It's tempting to lay the blame on someone else and not own up. Fortunately, I'm not that person anymore (or at least I don't want to be).  I'm owning it and I'm releasing it.  Tootaloo!  (Now that felt good!) So, what is the root of my unh...

Its my youngest son's birthday this month.  My "baby" is 30 years old and he asked for ultralight handcuffs as one of his presents this year.  He's a federal police officer in northern Minnesota and I thought it was interesting that they make "ultralight" handcuffs.  You would think the best handcuffs would be strong and sturdy - or maybe the "never get out of my site" brand would be the kind to buy.  That sounds better to me or at least more useful. I wonder what's so special about  ultralight handcuffs?  Can they hold the perpetrator steady, making sure there isn't an escape?  Are they used for discipline?  Do they hurt when used?  They obviously don't weigh much so how effective can they be? Of course this got me to thinking of ultralight handcuffs in a spiritual way cause, as you know, I'm weird that way. :)  I thought if (when) God puts handcuffs on me, I would definitely want them to be "ultralight".  Ones tha...

Hello.  I wrote a poem while on vacation last month on So Padre Island.  I was sitting by the ocean and these words came to me.  I read them again this morning and it was SO what I needed.  I hope they bless your day. I sit and confess all my unworthiness. All I see is the ocean beside me. I hear the roar and know You are more.  More than I know. The sound of the waves washing up on shore Tells me I'm forgiven. For You took all my sin and washed them away as I sit and confess all my unworthiness. I need nothing more.

Its assignment season again.   School has started and homework will be assigned.   Now that I have no children at home anymore, I don’t have to be concerned with the whole concept of “assignments” and can I just say,   HALLELUJAH!!!!    in bright colors with just a little bit of excitement???   Let’s just say helping with my sons’ assignments wasn’t my most favorite kind of pastime.   But actually, I have an assignment myself.   You have an assignment.   Everyone does.   This assignment comes from God Himself. Some (me included) might think of this “assignment” as a “calling” of some sort.   You know, some are called to be preachers, some teachers, some evangelists. . . .    That type of thing.   But in a recent class, KINDLE – Christ-Like Disciple Training , our “calling” was worded as our “assignment”. God has assigned each of us to something.   I don’t know, when I heard that, my ears perked...

As she talked, I sat there amazed.   Not at what she was saying, but at who she had become.   Confident.   Godly.   Faithful.    Respected.   It just hit me that she is now a leader in our church.    A true leader.   The next generation of leaders, in fact. But wait -- is this the same young woman who God brought into our lives a little over 10 years ago?   The anxious, nervous, only-just-started-going-to- church- wanting-to-please-everyone young woman my son introduced us to?   Watching her confidently taking her seat, I started thinking of those first days . . .   and seriously, my breath caught in my throat.   How amazing God is!   He molds, He holds.   He shapes and He grows.   And He does this over and over – and it still amazes me.   That got me to thinking.   God’s amazing work in my life didn’t start with my daughter-in-love.   It started before that.   It starte...

    I left for a LONG walk by myself recently while vacationing at my sister's place.   Armed with a bottle of water, it was a perfect morning to get away.  The sun was shining and the birds were singing - what could be better??   Having walked this path before, I didn't have a worry in the world. Praying, humming and taking in as much of God's creation as I could, all was good.   Well, until . .   My bladder was full and no bathroom was in sight.   I figured I was still about two miles away from the nearest bathroom.   What to do?   Two miles is a LONG WAY when you gotta go.   Some of you know EXACTLY what I mean.   Or maybe you don't have problems like this and if you did, you at least wouldn't tell anybody about it.   But the older I get, the more of a problem it is.   And the older I get, I know that EVERY event in life has a lesson.   Yes, even one like this   So I did what an...

I belong to the Clean Slate Club, ever heard of it?   Probably not, cause I just made it up.   Not the Clean P LATE Club btw – although I pretty much could say I belong there too J . This is a club consisting of totally white – blank – clean – non-encumbered nothing.   A “clean slate”.   That’s what happens when God forgives.   There is no “sort ofs” with this – no “almosts” – no “halfways” – it’s all or nothing.   It’s complete.   It’s forgotten.   It’s absolute.   It’s the way God works - it’s GRACE . Psalm 51 says, Have mercy on me, O God,     according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion     blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity     and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions,     and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned     and done...