May My Heart See...

What's your "totally awful, most unthinkable thing"?  You know, the one thing that would be THE most awfulest thing in the whole world to happen.  Everyone has one, don't they?  I mean, I do.  Whether its relational or spiritual or physical - makes no difference - its the one "happening" in your life that would be the worst ever.  E-V-E-R. Its the kind of thing you don't want to tell anybody because you don't want to say it out loud, let along think about it.  But you do . . . I do anyway.  And especially now, for some DARK reason, with all that is happening around us, my mind goes there.  I don't want it to but it does. I think Peter's totally awful unthinkable was his denial of Christ - and his happened THREE times.  It must have just slayed him.  I wonder sometimes how could he have even gone on after that.  One word:  redemption. Where our unthinkable is, God's redemption is.  Our only hope - ...

When Jesus is all I have, He really is all I need.  Right?  I'm going to be honest here, actually brutally honest, and say that I wish that statement was true for me.  I mean, I want it to be true.  Does that count? I don't know about you but in my life I feel like I need more than Jesus.  I need air and water and comfort and people liking me.  I need things going my way and nice hair.  Wow, do you think I'm a little self-involved??   Pardon me while I puke. 😬 Thankfully, God in His wisdom slaps me upside the head - I'm talking figuratively, here - with His Word.  One of those teaching moments is from the Book of Habakkuk.  He was a prophet during a horrific time.  Actually, God was allowing the Babylonians to take over, that's how bad it was.  Habakkuk was disgruntled to say the least.  For over two chapters, he tells God exactly what is needed and what should be done.  And God answers him - NOPE - no...

T his being National Day of Prayer and all, I was wondering if you have a power closet?   Somewhere just for you and God?   Its a place of devotion, surrender and confession.  It might be in your house or in the front seat of your car.   It really doesn't matter because a ll you have to do is “show up” and talk to God.   It’s getting there that’s the hard part.   First, we have to take the time. Second, admit something - a need, a want, a sin and third, listen.  Satan doesn’t want us in the power closet, you know.   He rather see us in the denial bin - in darkness, where there is no light.  But light is where healing begins.  In Christ there is no darkness at all.  Hence, the need for the power closet . . . .  talking to God brings it all to the light, don't you think?  Confession, repentance, strength, hope - the power that comes forth from God through hearts devoted to Him is amazing!!   The power clo...

I had a question asked of me yesterday that quickened my heart and left me wondering.  I'm still wondering for that matter.  It actually makes me a little sick to my stomach to think that I even have to question myself and admit this out loud.  But here goes . . . . . do I worship God out of obligation or desire? We are studying 1 Kings on Wednesday mornings and King Solomon is the main character.  He's the son of David (known for being the man after God's own heart).  Solomon loved God and worshiped Him.  In fact, Solomon was allowed to build God's temple and became one of the wisest richest rulers of all time.  I Kings says,   5  Three  times a year Solomon sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings on the altar he had built for the  Lord , burning incense before the  Lord  along with them, and so fulfilled the temple obligations. I'm thinking to myself, WOW, this guy's doing it all rig...

Have you ever had someone in your life who truly showed joy, no matter the circumstance?  How about someone who has made a profound influence?  I can honestly say that I have had two, and they both have the name "Joyce" - hence, the title of this post - The Joyces of My Life. First of all, Joyce ( my stepmom) came into my life when she married my dad.  My life was pretty unstable with my mother, but we all made the best of it.  Once I graduated from high school, I moved in with Dad and Joyce. Life happened, I got married, had some kids, you know the drill.   When I think back, there's nothing specific I remember, except  her constant-ability.  She was always there for me.  Period.  When you meet someone who lets you into their heart, bears her own heart and soul, while introducing you to Jesus, your life changes.  At least mine did.  Her love for Jesus and scripture was evident and contagious.  I wanted in - all...

I was recently asked the question, "what is love?"  Thinking hard, I found that I could think of what it ISN'T, but for the life of me, couldn't define it.  I know what it feels like, warm, fuzzy . . .  good.  Or maybe that's sitting in front of a fire with a cup of chai tea.  Okay, let's start over.  Love (without truth) isn't love.  True statement.  Love, true love, is telling the truth, no matter how hard it is.  Or how about the theme of the old movie, Love Story.  "Love is never having to say you're sorry".  That's hogwash by the way.  For when you love someone, saying sorry is what you do over and over. As far as I remember, from little on, I wanted to be loved.  For some reason, I never thought I was.  Now I know that was a lie.  To think back on my childhood, I was the first grandchild on my mother's side and her siblings and parents adored me.   Adoration = love?  Yeah, I guess ...

I am a spiritual lesson seeker.  At least once a week, I find a spiritual lesson in something - whether its an occurrence, or when I'm reading my devotions.  Sometimes its in worship.  Most times, though, its every day life, the normal, day to day grind, that makes me stop, take notice and ponder. By spiritual lesson, I mean a "heart" lesson.  Something God tells me, shows me, or teaches me.  I have to smile when I think about it because its usually SO SIMPLE.  You know what I mean?  And because I take everything (literally) "to heart" , these spiritual lessons are life changing.  Sorry if you think I'm being slightly dramatic here, but to me, they really are. Deuteronomy 6:5 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."  To me, that's pretty much impossible.  Yet, I pray it. And I truly want it.  But I can't.  I just . . . .  can't.  I'm too full of mysel...

Is it enough to just want to be happy?  I think it takes more than that.  Resolve is good, don't get me wrong, but the condition of the heart HAS to have something to do with it, along with the journeys life takes you on. I'm on a new journey.  I retired January 3rd of this year.  And its August and I'm still getting used to it.  Am I happy I'm retired?  Oh yes!  But am I happy? Maybe. I think its time I RESOLVED to open up my heart to all this journey is.  I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now.  Hang on, this might not be pretty. In the last eight months, I have realized a few things about myself that has made me feel truly UNhappy.  I could blame this on my mother.  It's tempting to lay the blame on someone else and not own up. Fortunately, I'm not that person anymore (or at least I don't want to be).  I'm owning it and I'm releasing it.  Tootaloo!  (Now that felt good!) So, what is the root of my unh...

Its my youngest son's birthday this month.  My "baby" is 30 years old and he asked for ultralight handcuffs as one of his presents this year.  He's a federal police officer in northern Minnesota and I thought it was interesting that they make "ultralight" handcuffs.  You would think the best handcuffs would be strong and sturdy - or maybe the "never get out of my site" brand would be the kind to buy.  That sounds better to me or at least more useful. I wonder what's so special about  ultralight handcuffs?  Can they hold the perpetrator steady, making sure there isn't an escape?  Are they used for discipline?  Do they hurt when used?  They obviously don't weigh much so how effective can they be? Of course this got me to thinking of ultralight handcuffs in a spiritual way cause, as you know, I'm weird that way. :)  I thought if (when) God puts handcuffs on me, I would definitely want them to be "ultralight".  Ones tha...

Hello.  I wrote a poem while on vacation last month on So Padre Island.  I was sitting by the ocean and these words came to me.  I read them again this morning and it was SO what I needed.  I hope they bless your day. I sit and confess all my unworthiness. All I see is the ocean beside me. I hear the roar and know You are more.  More than I know. The sound of the waves washing up on shore Tells me I'm forgiven. For You took all my sin and washed them away as I sit and confess all my unworthiness. I need nothing more.

Its assignment season again.   School has started and homework will be assigned.   Now that I have no children at home anymore, I don’t have to be concerned with the whole concept of “assignments” and can I just say,   HALLELUJAH!!!!    in bright colors with just a little bit of excitement???   Let’s just say helping with my sons’ assignments wasn’t my most favorite kind of pastime.   But actually, I have an assignment myself.   You have an assignment.   Everyone does.   This assignment comes from God Himself. Some (me included) might think of this “assignment” as a “calling” of some sort.   You know, some are called to be preachers, some teachers, some evangelists. . . .    That type of thing.   But in a recent class, KINDLE – Christ-Like Disciple Training , our “calling” was worded as our “assignment”. God has assigned each of us to something.   I don’t know, when I heard that, my ears perked...

As she talked, I sat there amazed.   Not at what she was saying, but at who she had become.   Confident.   Godly.   Faithful.    Respected.   It just hit me that she is now a leader in our church.    A true leader.   The next generation of leaders, in fact. But wait -- is this the same young woman who God brought into our lives a little over 10 years ago?   The anxious, nervous, only-just-started-going-to- church- wanting-to-please-everyone young woman my son introduced us to?   Watching her confidently taking her seat, I started thinking of those first days . . .   and seriously, my breath caught in my throat.   How amazing God is!   He molds, He holds.   He shapes and He grows.   And He does this over and over – and it still amazes me.   That got me to thinking.   God’s amazing work in my life didn’t start with my daughter-in-love.   It started before that.   It starte...

    I left for a LONG walk by myself recently while vacationing at my sister's place.   Armed with a bottle of water, it was a perfect morning to get away.  The sun was shining and the birds were singing - what could be better??   Having walked this path before, I didn't have a worry in the world. Praying, humming and taking in as much of God's creation as I could, all was good.   Well, until . .   My bladder was full and no bathroom was in sight.   I figured I was still about two miles away from the nearest bathroom.   What to do?   Two miles is a LONG WAY when you gotta go.   Some of you know EXACTLY what I mean.   Or maybe you don't have problems like this and if you did, you at least wouldn't tell anybody about it.   But the older I get, the more of a problem it is.   And the older I get, I know that EVERY event in life has a lesson.   Yes, even one like this   So I did what an...

I belong to the Clean Slate Club, ever heard of it?   Probably not, cause I just made it up.   Not the Clean P LATE Club btw – although I pretty much could say I belong there too J . This is a club consisting of totally white – blank – clean – non-encumbered nothing.   A “clean slate”.   That’s what happens when God forgives.   There is no “sort ofs” with this – no “almosts” – no “halfways” – it’s all or nothing.   It’s complete.   It’s forgotten.   It’s absolute.   It’s the way God works - it’s GRACE . Psalm 51 says, Have mercy on me, O God,     according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion     blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity     and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions,     and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned     and done...

I’ve got all my Valentine’s Day cards done except one .  I got the mushy one for my hubby –  cute ones with stickers inside for the grandkids and one for a friend who just got divorced. To be honest, I didn’t even think of sending this one until I heard it mentioned last Sunday during the children’s sermon.　 Paper and scissors aren’t needed - not even a stamp.　 This requires the most heartfelt devotion I can muster.　No schmaltz or trite little words.　 In fact, this might be the hardest thing I have ever done.   Maybe I should rethink this. 　 I want to send one to God.  I want to tell Him, no SHOW Him how much He means to me.　 I want to offer my heart to Him like I have never offered it before. This will be my best Valentine ever! 　 But my heart is deceitful . . . 　 Jeremiah 17 says: 　　　 　　The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. 　 I can’t do this. There is not one thing I can do or offer that will be a ...